Exciting News!

Hello everyone! I know that I haven't written for quite a few months, but being that this is the first time that I've had some time to myself in a long while, I wanted you to know about the new job I have! I am a preschool teacher for one of the Christian schools in my area! I am so excited to be starting to officially teach in January. The teacher that I am taking over for has been absolutely wonderful in helping not only myself with this new opportunity, but also has done a wonderful job in helping her students and their parents with the difficult transition. I am going to be taking classes to get my CDA and somehow I will be working on that and carrying one full time career, one part time job, and working at church as the secretary/tech person. I pray that God keeps me sane! lol For real though, I am in need of God's help right now. I don't know how it's all going to get done but I know that He will help me through all of this. Sometimes it makes me tired just thinking about it all but I know that I have to keep going and with God's help I can. I am very grateful for this teaching position and I know that it will be extremely difficult but it's going to be well worth it. :)

Depressed

I'm depressed today. It's not because of the weather.  It is bright and sunny today. I've started losing hope in being a mom. I don't know if I will ever be a mom. I wish I could tell this to someone who will just listen and not say things like "your life is great!  What is there to be depressed about?" or "think about how much worse off others are." I wish that I wasn't always labeled as the person who has their life together.  Maybe then someone would take the time to ask me how I'm doing and care to listen. I just want to cry but I can't because I have other people's problems to deal with.  It's not that I don't care about them, I do, I just... yeah.

Saturday 5/17/14 An Off Day

So my plans for today didn't really go as planned. I ended up with a stomach bug, originally I had work today and I was going to go to lunch and see a movie with one of my oldest friends but I had to cancel our plans and call off work. I slept so much today and was finally able to get out of bed around 7 o'clock this evening. I fed Buddy and took the trash to the end of the drive way and made myself an egg sandwich. That seems to have set with me alright. It's the only thing I have had to eat all day. Not feeling much up to eating but I knew that I had to get something in me. You know what's really weird? Any time I get sick, I feel like I have to spit a lot. Now, I know that sounds gross and very un-lady like, but I just can't help it. Has anyone else ever felt this way? I can't be the only one. I wonder why I feel like I have too much saliva when I get sick? So, anyway, I haven't done a whole lot to get ready for this move. The realtor is supposed to be coming to check out the house on Monday around 11:00 in the morning. Sean and I really have to get moving on this house cleaning business. Oh, it's been an off day today!

Moving!

Hello everyone! Well, I am finally finished with undergrad at Mount Union. I still have a long way to go before I can get my Master's degree. I have majored in psychology and minored in music, specifically vocal performance. I am so glad to be gone from Mount Union and now my husband and I are moving on to the next journey in our life. We are planning on moving away from the harsh weather in northeast Ohio to a warmer climate. (so that would be south, like Georgia or maybe Tennessee) We have a lot of cleaning to do and rearranging the house. The realitor is coming on Monday to walk through the house and look at our property. I'm sure that there are lots of people who have moved from one state to another. Can you tell me about your experience? We have our dog, Buddy, who will be traveling with us. Did anyone move out of state with a pet ? Can you tell me how that worked? I am a bit nervous about taking Buddy on such a long trip. I will up date you every day about the moving process and how well (or not well) it's going. Please, be praying for us that this is the right move. Sean and I are praying and the more we do, the more it feels like we are being called to move south for whatever reason. We believe that when God says "go" then we should go.

Hard

So, my life has been a hard this past fall and into the winter. There are so many things that I need to talk about so, since I am home alone, this blog is going to turn into a diary for a bit. In September 2013, my Great Grandmother, Lucille Wright (Nana) passed away from Alzheimer's and Dementia.

Nana in her 30's

Nana on her 91st Birthday

I miss my Nana so much. She was a beautiful, strong-willed, kind, ball of fire kind of woman. She was a Christian through and through. She taught me how to sew, how to clean, and how to have fun. She and I loved reading and we both adored poetry. She instilled in me a love of learning. It doesn't matter how old you get, you always learn something new each day. Nana was the matriarch of our family. Nana loved to tell stories about her child hood in Kentucky and she was what made family so important to me. My family and our history is amazing! I've learned that we have some well known distant relatives, like "Devil" John Wright and June Carter Cash. They are both very distant cousins. My family history goes way far back and thanks to the wonders of Facebook, we now have a family tree and I am meeting new relatives all the time! I miss my Nana, but I know that I will see her again one day.   

Apart from Nana's death, I have gone to too many funerals for people I knew from high school. I graduated high school in 2008. It's only 2014. We are only in our mid 20's.  There has been so much crime, violence, and drug related activities in my area. Is it possible to be so sad and angry and confused that you just don't know how to show your emotions? I mean, things have gotten to the point where I just can't cry anymore and the reality of it is that you never know when you're going to die, so why put yourself in a situation where your chances of death are much more certain? I don't understand. There are things that are going on that make me want to rip my hair out because I know they know better. 

I am not just a person who writes papers and puts them on a blog. I want you know that I am a real person. I have thoughts and feelings. Most of the time when a person starts doing research on a topic, they aren't interested in the author's life, but rather in what they have found in research. Well, guess what? Life in general is one big experiment. Here are the steps to the scientific method, read them, think about it, and then tell me that life is not an experiment. 

Steps to the Scientific Method:

1) make an observation

2) ask a question

3)form a hypothesis

4) test the hypothesis

5) accept or reject the hypothesis

So, in life, we see what is good for humanity and what is not. We all have our own opinions. But, when we see something odd, we ask about it, we question it. Then automatically we judge it. We think that whatever IT is, is good or bad. So then we put it to the test. If we do something to it, how will it react? When it does react, does that reaction fit with the hypothesis we made? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. That's when we go back to the drawing board and modify the hypothesis. 

Being a Christian and a scientist, it makes me think a lot about life and about how things happen and why they happen. 

So, take it or leave it, these are my random thoughts and feelings.